Love Letters Boxset Volume 1: Bonus content included Read online

  I couldn’t handle either of those alternatives.

  My ringing phone drags me from the terrifying thoughts as I grab it from the table in front of me. Answering with some action flick in the background, explosions all around. “Hello?”

  “Jersey,” my dad’s voice booms through the line, “How are you doing?”

  “Fine,” I sigh. Wishing with everything in me that it was Killian. “How are you?”

  I have to let him go. I’m going insane.

  “Good, good,” he says, pausing, as if he’s hesitant to say what’s next. “I have a favor to ask…” His voice trails and I know I’m going to like it less than the last one he asked of me.

  “What?” I’m trying to control my impatience.

  “I have a few men I need picked up in two hours when they land. Could you do that for me?” His tone sounds bored, but the inflections in his pitch are off.

  “What’s really going on General?” I doubt he’ll tell me, but figure it’s worth a shot.

  “Just as I said. Can I count on you?” He snaps.

  I sigh again, “Yes, I’ll be there.”

  He hangs up without a single thank you. I love the man, but sometimes he gets on my nerves. My phone dings again as a text comes through. Opening it, I see the address I’m to pick them up at.

  Resigned to my fate I gather my ice cream and look down at my clothes wondering if I have time to change, or if my baggy sweater and short shorts will be okay. I know my dad would want me looking my best, but frankly I’m too depressed to care.

  Shrugging I gather my keys and purse, leaving early intent on stopping at Starbucks on the way for a vanilla Frappuccino. Because if I can’t have my man, I can have the next best thing.

  * * *

  I hadn’t been paying attention to my dad’s text when he sent me the address or I’d have known I was going to the Fort Meade airbase.

  Killian’s base.

  Tears sting my eyes as I sit in my car at the gate waiting for the time to pass since I was early for pick up. Gathering as much courage as I can muster I climb free of my little Civic and wonder why I was asked to pick up my dad’s men when they likely wouldn’t fit in the damn car in the first place. Let alone their luggage.

  One of the many mysteries of the General, I suppose.

  Walking through the building, I go through two of the security check points no problem. As I’m clearing the third, the large cargo plane could be heard landing and I just know they’re on that plane.

  “Your clear ma’am,” the security guy tells me when I pause at the door he’s holding open.

  “Thank you,” I murmur as I see the large cargo door open on the plane. Nearly a dozen men and women disembark from the aircraft as I walk towards them, wondering how I’ll know who I’m here for.

  The sun blinds me as the clouds clear the sky just as I see a touch of silver, and a crooked jaw I think I might recognize. Rushing towards the passengers, I can see again as shade covers the sun and I see him.

  Captain Killian St. James.

  Elation fills me as I take in his perfectly handsome form. I see laugh lines when he smiles at a man beside him, as he turns like he’s searching for someone.

  Then the tears start streaming down my face. My heart constricts. And I wonder what cruel fate would do this to me.

  Give him to me, only to take him away, and now he’s tossed in my face just as I’ve come to the decision to let him go.

  When I see him turning my way, I whip around nearly running into a pole I hadn’t seen there when coming outside.

  “Jersey?” I hear him call. “Jersey wait!”

  Blood rushes through my ears, flooding my mind and making me dizzy. I can’t face him. He can’t see how he broke me.

  I don’t realize I’ve collapsed in a heap on the ground until I feel strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. His scent surrounds me, sandalwood and lemon invade my senses.

  “My sweet fucking Jersey girl,” he murmurs into my ear. His arms tighten around me again as I try and struggle to get free.

  “This her?” I hear another masculine voice approach.

  “Oh yeah,” Killian kisses along my jaw. My body gives up the fight, melting into his embrace. Accepting his claim on me.

  “She’s on fire,” the voice laughs as it fades away.

  “You stopped,” I sob out. The only thing I could think to say.

  “I know baby, I know.” He spins my body so I’m facing him, “Things have been crazy, and I want to explain. Will you let me?” His eyes, they’re like a punch to the gut as I stare at the clear green orbs, begging me to give him a second chance.

  “Yes, Killian.” I mumble and his eyes light up with triumph.

  “God that sounds good on your tongue Jersey girl,” he whispers leaning down to kiss me. The first touch, the first taste… complete perfection.

  She’s here, and she’s in my arms. It doesn’t feel like it should be real. But feeling her soft curves, her warm skin against my hands. It’s all a man like me could ask for in this life.

  After the explosion two months ago I tried everything I could to get in touch with her. But everything was gone. Her letters, her pictures, everything. I’d never been so pissed in my life. I couldn’t begin to imagine how she felt when she didn’t hear from me.

  It took some digging but I did remember her mentioning her father being a General in Fort Meade. More digging and I was able to find the man. Thankfully he was a man who owed my Commander in Chief a favor so I didn’t have to explain who I was to Jersey, or vice versa.

  “You feel even better in my arms than I imagined Jersey girl.” I murmur against her lips. She’s soft, supple. I couldn’t ask for more really.

  Wrapping her tightly in my embrace, I hold her as close to me as possible as I take control of the soft lip lock. Her hands shoot to my shoulders in a tight grip as she lets out a light moan.

  Our heated embrace quickly spirals out of control as I fight the urge to not strip her bare here on the runway. I need this woman like I need air. She’s the fire in my blood.

  “Get a room!” I hear Gage call at us, forcing me to pull away from my girl. I watch her face as his words register and she turns a deep shade of red with her embarrassment.

  Turning to the man, I shoot him a glare that has his laughter disappearing quickly.

  “Do you have somewhere you have to be?” She asks quietly, her head dipped to her chest.

  Pushing her chin up with a finger, “Wherever you are Jersey,” her mouth opens in a perfect O at my words and I can’t help the smirk pulling at my lips.

  “Oh, uhh, home? I guess.” She stutters out. Her brow furrows seconds before she asks, “Were you the General’s favor?”

  I can’t tell if she’s upset or not, so I lean in kissing her forehead and tell her, “I sure was.”

  “You know him?” She seems skeptical now.

  “Not at all,” I explain, “My CO pulled a favor for me so I could get you here,” I smile at her, hoping she takes me for my word.

  “Does anyone else need a ride?”

  “Just me.”

  As soon as the words pass my lips she’s plastered against me. Her body shaking with emotion. “I was so worried,” she murmurs into my chest and I can hear the tears threatening her control.

  “I’m fine,” I whisper into her ear.

  We stand that way for a few minutes until her composure returns. Pulling away from me, she gives a watery smile, telling me, “Let’s go.”

  Wrapping an arm across her shoulder, she cuddles into me as we walk through the base and out to her tiny car that looks more like a matchbox car then something I could fit into.

  “Think you’ll fit?” She laughs, looking from the car to me and back again.

  I don’t even care that she’s laughing at the size of me, hearing her tinkling voice as it washes through me has me dropping my bag to the ground and pulling her back into my arms for a fierce kiss.

  Her gasp of sho
ck allows me to drown myself in her mouth. Play with her tongue as she catches her breath and kisses me back. She tastes of sweet candy and whipped cream.

  We’re out of control again, leaning against the frame of her car, my hands roaming every available surface of her body. From her tiny shorts and up her baggy sweater, her smooth skin draws me in like a tidal wave to land.

  “I need you Killian,” she breathes as she pulls back for a breath.

  “So much,” I murmur back. “I’ll drive,” I tell her as she pulls out her keys.

  She nods and I help her into her seat before dashing around the vehicle, and stowing my duffle in the back seat. Once on the way, she gives me directions to her house as the anticipation and tension builds between us.

  “Up there on the left,” she mutters, pointing to her house, but her eyes never leave me.

  Parking, we sit in the silence for a few minutes, gazes connected. I’m lost in the depths of her dilated pupils when a door slams, breaking the spell.

  Jersey looks towards the noise from her neighbor’s house and her body immediately tenses, causing me to ask, “What’s the matter?”

  She whips around to look at me and waits a beat before answering, “Nothing.” She clears her throat, “Everything’s fine.” She won’t meet my eyes.

  I leave it for now, knowing if I push she’ll close down and never tell me. Nodding my head, I climb from her tuna can car and walk around to open her door. Seeing a man watching us, I nod a greeting only for him to scowl and turn away as if I’ve insulted him.

  “Ignore him,” she tells me.

  Suddenly it clicks, “Is he the one who wouldn’t leave you alone?” The growl in my voice is unintended.

  She shrugs, not really answering, but also not denying. “He’s harmless.” I doubt it, but I’m jaded.

  As we enter her house, I take a quick glance around the front room and see into the kitchen from the open concept floor plan. She likes color, if her throw pillows and wall art are anything to go by.

  “There was a bomb,” I tell her abruptly. “On base. Everything was lost.”

  She walks to me, “Was anyone in your unit hurt?” Pain, for me, shines bright in her clear gaze.

  Clearing my throat, I tell her, “Physically? No. Mentally? Yes. They have some things to work through.” I pause, looking back down at her, “So do I.”

  She walks a bit away, turning her back to me and for the first time since the attack ice cold fear runs through me. “Can I help you?” Her voice is low and shy.

  I wait a beat before answering, “I’d fucking love that Jersey girl.” My tone matching hers.

  Turning towards me from the middle of the room, her fingers fidget with the hem of her sweater as she asks, “Would you like coffee or something?”

  A blush creeps up her neck and I know I’d rather find out about that then what she’s asking. Locking the front door behind me, I drop my duffel to the ground and slowly advance on her.

  Her gaze locks on mine and she takes a deep breath as I capture her around the waist, and slam my lips down on hers for the third or fourth time in what feels like years, when in reality is more like hours.

  Without her body pressing into mine I feel lost. As if I’m missing an integral piece of my soul and having her against me is the only way to assuage the loneliness.

  “I only want you Jersey,” I nip her lip making her gasp.

  She points behind her, “My bedroom is that way.”

  Picking her up in my arms, I trail light kisses down her jaw and too her neck. Murmuring in her ear, “Our bedroom.” She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m not leaving her. Not for anything.

  “Oh my,” I whisper at his proclamation. I’m insanely happy that he’s as attracted to me as I am to him. That he feels this connection that seems to defy time and distance. Killian is like a lost lover I never knew I had. He’s the piece of my soul that was missing.

  “I want you Jersey,” he nips at my neck causing me to gasp.

  “Yes Killian,” Is all I can say as he pushes through the door to my room. We land on the bed with a soft fall. Him catching the impact so I hardly feel it.

  His arms are braced around my head as he looks into my eyes, searching for answers I don’t know the questions to. A small smile graces his face as I feel his fingers twirl in my hair.

  “So damn soft,” his murmured words are full of awe.

  Sliding off my body, I watch as he strips his clothes off. His body buff, tan, full of muscle and intricate tattoos dedicated to his years served. I study each one with a critical eye, too afraid to look below his waist. Do I tell him I’ve never done this before? Will he think less of me if he knows?

  For some reason I doubt it. My blurted words, “I’m a virgin,” have him stopping the downward progress of removing his pants and a huge grin takes over his face.

  “I’m pigheaded enough to admit I fucking love that,” his growled words are followed by his pants landing with a thud at his feet.

  My eyes dart down… slamming shut in shock, before popping back open to stare.

  It’s like a jack hammer.

  I’m no shrinking violet, I’ve watched my fair share of porn and none of those dudes are sporting a dick nearly as large as Killian’s.

  “Mercy me,” I fan my face with my hand as it heats with a combination of embarrassment and arousal.

  He leans forward, sliding his big hands up my bare legs, the callouses on his palms a stark contrast to my smooth flesh. Pushing my knees apart I’m mesmerized as he makes room for himself there. His eyes close and he inhales deeply, like he can smell my arousal and I feel even more embarrassment, my thighs try to close and relieve the pressure of arousal pounding at my core.

  His skillful hands push my sweater up past my belly, over my covered breasts and past my head to toss it on the floor beside us. I’m drawn to the intensity and heat reflected back at me from his eyes as his hands freely roam my body and there’s nothing more I want in this moment that to give him everything he needs.

  “Please Killian,” I beg when his hands reach the apex of my thighs, bracketing my sex with his hands, his laser focus staring as if he doesn’t know what to do with me.

  I find I like that maybe he doesn’t know. That maybe he’s just as overwhelmed as I am.

  He hooks his fingers in the waist of my shorts and panties, and in one strong pull has my legs straight up and resting against his shoulder as my clothes fly behind him, hitting the wall with a plop.

  Without warning my legs are thrown over both of his shoulders and his face is buried in my pussy. His lips kissing along the outer lips as he works to taste all of me at once. My back bows off the bed when he reaches my clit. Pleasure unlike anything I’ve ever felt consumes me and I cry out.

  The grip he has on my thighs tightens as he sucks and licks his way around my center. He takes everything he can before his tongue starts playing at my tight hole. Pushing and licking, slurping up my juices as he makes me come apart for him.

  “Gimme more,” he snarls against my sensitive skin.

  I do.

  Lord have mercy, do I ever.

  I can feel it building and unfurling like a tidal wave crashing against the shore. Every cell in my body explodes on his tongue as he works it into a frenzy.

  My hands shoot to his head, gripping his short hair in an iron tight grip as I finally come apart and the orgasm washes through me. My limbs fight to go limp even as they tense. Stars flash behind my closed eye lids, and my mind bursts in a display of colorful fireworks as sparks of pleasure continue to shoot through my sweating and shaking body.

  “That was fucking beautiful,” he grunts against my lower lips. I hadn’t even realized he’d moved from his position. “Ready for more?” He looks and sounds feral as a wild animal.

  “Yesss.” I moan as he kisses his way up my body. When I feel him pushing at my entrance I panic and ask, “Condom?” feeling like a twit.

  “Baby,” he leans down to kiss me softly, “I
get tested regularly and haven’t been with anyone in so long I could be a virgin. And we both know you are one. I want to feel your silky depths.” His eyes close, and he takes a deep breath as if he’s pained, “No, I need to feel you. I need to feel your walls pulse with your desire for me. To feel you when you come apart in my arms. To have you soaking up every ounce of me that no one could mistake you as belonging to anyone but me again.”

  “Wow,” I breath on a sigh. He’s sure good with words. Our gazes clash as I bite my lip, wondering, worrying. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I do with my entire soul, completely unexplainable but no less true. My worry is that, “I’m not on the pill,” I make my second confession.

  His smile grows wide again, “I ain’t getting any younger.”

  “Okay,” I murmur.

  His hands grip both of mine sweetly, bracketing my head with his arms again as he slowly slides inside of me. He has to stop and thrust a few times to open my tight channel so he doesn’t rip me wide open. All the while he does this, our eyes are connected, our hearts beating in sync with each other.

  “You ready?” He whispers, leaning down again to place his cheek against mine.

  I only nod. Prepared to have him completely filling me.

  Unprepared for the pain that consumes me as he breaks through my barrier.

  “I got you Jersey girl.”

  * * *

  Killian

  She’s tight as a God damned vice. Nearly ripping my cock right off as I take her virginity. Her entire body is tense as I fight for the control I need not to pound her through the mattress and into the floor.

  When she asked me to put a condom on I nearly cried. I wanted nothing between us as I make love to her the first time. If she wants one after, then I will.

  No, scratch that, I won’t.

  Her walls start to pulse around my cock and I know I need to feel that erotic heat every time I enter her body. There’s no way a condom will do.